Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1470) and Muslim (1042). And its not just a husband problem is it? He shouldnt blame me for things I am not responsible for. While I am not naive, I do believe that it well worth your effort to sit down with your husband (at the right time) and explain what crying means to you and how it is important for you to be able to express your emotions freely without fear of retribution. He shouldnt treat me this way. Every person has the ability to control their anger, words and actions just some people choose not too and then blame their partners for their behaviour. This is sinful! I figure she can probably read stuff like this and realize for herself that she married a fairly decent guy. Ask him what he needs and dont be shy to explain to him how your pregnancy makes you feel and all the thoughts you struggle with. Im trying to train my sons to know how to relate to people (including ladies) better than I was able to do. Or it could be time for you to insist that the two of you seek counseling if the marriage is to continue forward. Express to him that you need to see your family more often and your parents have rights over both of you. Certainly, if you are married to a guy that intentionally does and says things to make you cry and feel bad, that is a huge problem. This is to make sure you are both understanding one another. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree! His family blamed me for eveyrhing and covered up for him even after he'd cheated on me. It's important to find someone who has good iman, inside and out. Please find some local Muslim converts to speak with about Islam and also a local teacher to help you out. In response to aabshar: insert emoji thumbs up!!!! Please understand I am not saying his actions are correct, just that the better you understand his intentions the better you understand his heart and how to help him change this negative behavior. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Salams, This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. If you fear he is not capable of doing this, seek out a mediator such as a family friend, Imam or a marriage counselor. Then, when you have your understanding of yourself clear, talk to him. My first piece of advice is not to feel like you cant cry if the emotions inside you swell up. My husband doesn't care when I cry. | Talk About Marriage This will frame it in a positive way for him. The goal is not to win the conversation, but to better understand one another and seek resolution. My husband doesnt care at all about my feelings. Think of each individual tear your husband triggers with hateful words or actions as a message. I have a lot of trouble finding things she will love for gifts, and yet our house is full of things. Remind him that it is sunnah to treat ones wife with good character and mercy. And makes me cry atleast 10 times since yesterday (1st day of ramadan). Perhaps you can share your thoughts on this topic. She explained what hurt her the most was the nonchalant attitude he exhibited after her crying spells. We want to work towards healthy communication, which is impossible when it is heated. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. I guess my point here is that some men might just have a side in this story and no time to tell it. Mine is not even outwardly pious. Then approach the topic of asking his mother or possibly an Islamic marriage counselor to be a mediator for both of you. Your husband probably also doesnt understand the damage he can do by trying to stop you from crying. It's gotten so bad that I now try to stop him leaving in an attempt not to face what happens when he goes but this is just as bad, he will bring up everything I've opened up to him about and use it to hurt me, accuse me of being a dirty cheating woman (I can't say the actual word he uses it's too vile), he will throw stuff and break things, get in my face and laugh when he sees me sobbing because he is hurting me so badly. He knows Hadith and when I met him was going to study circles. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. He believes he has all the personal power. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Will Allah punish me because I am not able to be a good wife?. It is my understanding you are in a multicultural marriage during the first year of living together, arguably one of the more difficult years of marriage. There is always something he's unhappy about in the house which makes me feel constantly confused, guilty, and sometimes worthless. Im not going to proof read this as I really dont have the time, so hopefully not too many phone typos. If you live with him sister he will only abuse you more and more and once you have children he will then have you exactly where he wants take care sister don't put up with crap. I empathise with you. Straightforward can still be friendly and kind. Only women do. Got married, and that's when his true colours came out. Surely, there must be something that would work. And think of each time your husband makes you cry as an event. While this is not healthy, imagine that your husband is being silent because he feels being silent is kinder to his wife than continuing to yell? 2. Heaven lies at the feet of our mothers - this is the value of women in Islam - what is your husband doing? But what's the point then? They show a different face before marriage - good character, a person of deen, great personality,'lots of respect and good looking. She described him a aloof, uncaring, and cold. I try to be a good wife and all I get in the end is blame when I am trying to help. I end up crying out of frustration over certain things but he's never done/said anything specifically or with intentions to make me cry. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". She is also a revert who took her shahada in 2015, Alhamdulillah. I try my best to please him in everyway, even stopping wearing short coats when I go out of the house even though I always wear abaya, hijab and niqab. Only women do. Allah (swt) has given certain rights to the husband and wife, making both of you accountable to uphold your duties and promote a happy marital bond. Actually, it is not too hard to understand. Or it may be time for you to leave if that approach works better for your situation. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. My husband has completed hajj numerous times, he prays five times a day - never misses a prayer believe it or not. husband makes his wife cry in islam - TikTok I hear often, my boyfriend doesnt care if Im upset. He doesnt really care about me and when I cry he gets irate and tells me I am the cause of all that is wrong in our marriage. Surely, there must be something that would work. They usually are not following what renowned shaykhs say but comes from their reading of Hadith and etc or their minds w/o proper knowledge of even Arabic. I have been married to my cousin for 14 years. My family was very supportive because they are the ones who know you since your were born and if you're husband wants to think the worst of you fir no reason let him seek out your family and leave him if things dont change even after your family's interference.. don't wait for him to divorce you. I completely and totally agree with br. May Allah ease your struggles, ameen. Which brings me to the point which is extremely important for you to hear. May Allah swt ease your pain, Ameen. I am always doing the housework, running errands, doing laundry and etc. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. I have always prayed to Allah to make me the best of wives to my husband insha Allah (Ameen) and I have always always looked forward to making my marriage work, but all hope of this has left me and I feel extremely emotionally unstable. I can also recommend some online convert groups for you so message us back if youd like me to get in touch with you about that directly. Its not over til the Trumpet is Blown Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 3, I want to reconcile with my wife, who claims her parents blackmailed her, He is honestly not in my heart at all, as my parents forced me, Forced to marry my first cousin, but I loved another man. Disclaimer:The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. He has told me over and over that I am worthless and weak, that I'm not a proper wife and he regrets marrying me.. My Husband Ignores Me | About Islam She is a professional writer specialized in Islamic Psychology and Behavioral Health. Did you know that Muslim women spoke directly to the Prophet Muhammad, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him? I know I guy him and his wife was having problems he come to talk to me and said I don't what is wrong to make the story short he find out there was black magic don on them , I'm not saying that's what going on what I'm saying is talk to Allah because Allah the heart of people Ask Allah and Tawakel Allah , sometimes we give evicted we out knowing everything and we don't need to know everything because is evicted to came on home but You are aloud to talk to Allah, Assalamwalekum sister Sit down with your husband and have an honest conversation. Turn your body sideways to his with your hand resting on top of your pregnant belly, look him in the eyes and say in a kind manner something such as I care more about you than this argument, we can discuss this when we are both calm, I love you then be quiet. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". This is a prime opportunity to express why it hurts you when he gives the silent treatment. Your husband may think if he acts cool and detached and ignore your tears, they will just go away and you will learn not to cry. Work on effective communication with your husband, worship together and set aside time for both of you to enjoy each other. I married a narcissist and I hate spending my life with him is another way a woman put it to me. There is nothing wrong with wanting chemistry and attraction with a spouse and for women that is important since much of their intimacy is tied to their emotional state, but, of course not at the expense of character (understandable 100%). There is just one thing i want to add when we are talking about choosing character in a spouse saying prayers five times a day and beyond or fasting during ramzaan and even being a haaji doesnt necessarily make a man have a good character. I want to know that what if I make my husband cry what's the punish or how bad it is and how can I fix it. This is no way to live. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Part French sex comedy, part "American Pie"-like . It didn't happen and now it's like I want to live for myself a bit. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. I am all in favor of supporting your spouse. He just doesn. I am sorry for your struggles, sister! Answered by Ustadha Rukayat Yakub Question: Before marriage my husband said he was religious, but he lies, cheats, uses bad language, is arrogant, uses my credit card and misses fajr salat every morning. Gently let him know that your parents have rights over you and you need to spend more time with your mother. I am afraid he hates me and deep inside doesnt care about making things better. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Remember that your partner's rage usually says more about them and. you said, 'he shouts and swears and loses his anger'? He only However your husband formed his belief system around the role crying has in our human experience, it would be fair to say that as guy he is conditioned to think a certain way. Otherwise, men and women co-exist in the same space with kindness, respect, modesty, and professionalism. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Verbal abuse is not acceptable and is extremely hurtful. Ahmed. Perhaps he was trying to reach out to you, asking for more affection and close conversation. At the grocery store or at a restaurant casual and polite conversations like this are the basic manners of the people or, as one would say in Arabic, the adab. It does not store any personal data. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. The first year of marriage is a period of change that requires compromise on both sides, patience and a lot of mercy. They have no rights in you. You need to approach your family and Let them know what's happening. this is the most enjoyable part of marriage. Be ready to Serve your husband when he Desires. Assume that your husbands notions about crying is retarded. One of the ideal ways to make love to your husband is to serve him sexually whenever he desires. Might take a while, waiting until shes not so angry at me. This is abnormal behaviour especially in the first few months of marriage. I get blamed for everything that is ever wrong and he takes no responsibility at all. First of all, not all husbands who react poorly to your tears is a narcissistor selfish. That is why men are strong and women are weak. Copyright Islam Publications & Research. Even our language has certain inherent biases around the notion of crying. Husband Makes Me Feel I'm a Sinner | About Islam These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. Ever since we have been married my husband treats me badly, he shouts and swears and loses his anger. Abu Hurayrah narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said: " O Allaah, bear witness that I declare inviolable the rights of the two weak ones: orphans and women. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Find a way to get out. It is a cruel act for any husband to act like he doesnt care about you if you are crying. He makes my cry more when he acts this way. Thank you for writing in and sharing your feelings. Let him know that you hear him and are sorry if he ever felt you were distant. You are visually cueing him about your baby, which is important as stress is not healthy for the baby.
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