why is my boss being extra nice to me

Their expectations are both staggering and non-negotiable and their teams know it. All rights reserved by The Balance Work, Start-Up Boom In Pandemic Detailed Stats, All Stats Related To Cut In Greenhouse Gas Emission Due To WFH, USA No. Workers want feedback and they need it immediately whether they have screwed up or succeeded. BBC Eye Investigations. It also lets the other person know that you understand where they are coming from. Simply reach out to us and well do everything we can to assist you. Many bosses make the mistake of talking far too much and stifling staff contributions. Does the employee understand what it means to own somethinga process, a piece of equipment, a customer relationship? asks Matthew DiGeronimo, the vice president of operations for Veolia Energy North America and co-author of Extreme Operational Excellence. This can lead to feelings of vulnerability among coworkers who are not used to receiving this type of attention from their superiors. Are they just as committed to the success of the company as you are? It will also make them want to help out again in the future if neededwho doesnt like being thanked. Do they want what is best not just the company, but for you too? Here are smart ways to build trust with your boss. Maybe they see you as athreat. They may also be trying to make it easier for you by showing that they care about your well-being. Some ways to ace that is by beingpunctualand always meeting deadlines. These immensely successful bosses dont care much about being liked. It becomes very clear when someone starts to use victim language, blames others or circumstances for not hitting their goals, or generally complains and has a negative attitude. There could be layoffs or budget cuts. Your boss could be hard on you because they want to teach you a lesson. The researchers documented the latter case by collecting evaluations from abusive bosses and their employees who bore the brunt of it. You feel that you know where you are going and so does your boss. Catching the men who sell subway groping videos - BBC News He couldnt step up when it came to making hard decisions, Matthew explains. This allows the boss to focus her attention elsewhere because she knows that the employee will take the necessary action, even if its outside their defined duties and responsibilities, to ensure success., Managers are often at the helm of the companys pivots, making them keenly aware of the why, when, how, and where of the success metrics. During the last year, have you failed to follow up and punish bad behaviour? Talk directly with your boss about what you need and be as concrete as possible, Build your network so that you can rely on other people for help and resources, Make the costs of her behavior very clear thats the only way shell change, Hesitate to take matters into your own hands, Think of your boss as the enemy he may not be aware of his behavior, Let it go on for too long if possible consider transferring to another department or finding a new job. Make the costs clear People change but not unless theyre dissatisfied with their own behavior, says Hill. We got the answer to that. I have never called anyone out on the inability to master those skills, but I notice that there are wildly different levels of differentiation in demonstrating them., Even if youre not in your dream joband perhaps, applying elsewhereyour employer is noticing the goals you set for yourself and for your role at the company. , all people have in common is that they always want appreciation for their work. Youll be able to make decisions based on whats best for the company rather than whats best for your own personal gain. Most people, when they are attracted to someone, will try to find ways to be closer to the object of their affection. This type of boss is afraid that if they set high performance targets and challenge their staff to meet and surpass them, their esteem will slip. Fearful managers don't build their employees up - they tear them down. to gain the confidence of their boss or supervisor need to go the extra mile. Your boss has been super nice to you for a long time. It is a great asset when delegation has to be done. Something's up and I can't put my finger on it. June 24, 2023 - Wagner head says group standing down | CNN This is unlike him and it's triggering my spidey-sense. For some employees, this may not be enough to make up for the hurt. This could backfire if they are not used to other people taking advantage of them or if they find out later that you were trying to use their kindness against them. They want to help you reach your full potential. By being extra nice, they can help ensure that this isnt an issue going forward. Nowadays, the latter are also in the majority. I would always prefer to work with someone who has some edge and is willing to challenge me to be better, he says. You ask them questions about their lives and listen to them speak at length about their work experiences. So if you think your boss is testing you, try to use it as motivation. Unfortunately, there are killed and wounded. You're Being Micromanaged. And start documenting your bosss behavior. my boss won't give me any direction -- but then says my work is wrong 1 12 comments techincubus 6 yr. ago Maybe he started doing coke and now he is happy AF. In their study published in The Journal of Applied Psychology, the researchers found that some abusive bosses recognize their immoral bad behavior and use moral cleansing as a way to make up for. This isnt always easy to deal with. But, lately my boss (the CEO) has started praising and congratulating me on almost everything I do. Without intentionally broadcasting your current mood, vibe, or opinion, youre sending signals to your boss all the time through your body language. Believe it or not, many organizations have rules that are valid only within the workplace. However, lately, youve noticed its not really that bossy anymoreor at least, not as bossy as it used to be. 1. I was the voice for the team and explained how his behavior was affecting morale and causing turnover, he says. It can also put them at risk of being taken advantage of by those who do not understand boundaries or expectations for interactions between people in hierarchical positions. Featured photo credit: Modern business: Team work /Kevin Dooley via flickr.com. Our team of experts is here to assist you if you need assistance with your resume or cover letter. I've done a really good job of supporting him and he would agree that I work my fingers to the bone for him. His new book is Superbosses: How Exceptional Leaders Manage the Flow of Talent (Portfolio/Penguin, 2016). Do you tend to withhold negative feedback for fear of upsetting or alienating someone? Please take advantage of this new behavior and enjoy it while it lasts! Reddit, Inc. 2023. This really helps me figure out what their priorities are and allows me to help them achieve their goals as well as coach them into taking a longer term view of their work.. Point to direct evidence, such as a team members disengagement. I have just made a mental list of all the bosses I have had in my forty years of work. They get a thrill out of having control over their employees. In a year-long investigation, the BBC World . This might seem far-fetched. Directly address the issue Start by talking to your boss. However, there could be a few reasons why your boss seems extra hard on you: 1. RD.COM Work & Career Succeeding at Work, From stepping up and taking the lead to accepting the faceplant when things go wrong, taking ownership is vital to bosses. It is earned, and it is rare. For employees suffering under domineering managers, this study gives hope that your jerk boss can change. Im sorry if I havent been showing enough respect. If done right, acknowledging a lapse in showing appropriate respect can go a long way. In this case, dont take it personallyand dont get too excited about your newfound friendliness! Some terrible bosses are always going to be oblivious to their bad habits. Im sorry I forgot to thank you earlier. It is a common phrase, but is it practiced enough? Then again, this kind of thinking might be the reason why they are so lovely! Carve out time at the end of each week to reflect on what you did well. Why would he reach out to me and then say hes not able to meet up with me? Demanding bosses do. Managers supposed to treat their employees nicely. Hergenrother goes a step further and calls out one of his greatest pet peeves in employees: victim language. But bosses notice when an employee is willing to raise her head above the fray and ask, Why? This takes courage and determination, but a wise boss will hold onto employees who are willing to do it., Putting on a fake smile and nodding along to a task you dont full understandmight feel like the best move in the moment, but bosses are actually more appreciativeand could respect you morewhen you ask for help. Your boss asks you for advice about something and then acts on it. If your boss is crossing the line, you may need to say something. People often act as though they have a moral ledger or bank account, such that doing good deeds adds credit whereas bad deeds withdraw credit. Studies have found that incivility can irreparably break employee-manager relationships. A good boss knows that he will have to take the staff into his confidence by asking for help and ideas. More often than not, people will explain themselves when asked. The boss who indulges in this feels he knows best and cannot trust the employee fully. You get told that you did a good job or an excellent job on something. Here are some signs that your boss is impressed by your work: When your boss is too nice, it can be difficult to know how to approach them. Here are a few tips on how you can handle this situation without making things worse: When your boss trusts you, it means that he or she believes in your ability to accomplish the goals of the company. This can make your bossextra stressedandanxious. It might mean they see an effort coming from you in teamwork. We will list them down for you here! At TheBalanceWork, we always put our readers first. Or perhaps you made amistake,and theyre trying to show you theconsequences. Are You Being Taken Advantage of at Work? - Monster.com For some people, this seems pushy, but McKeowns research shows its effective. Try to thank your boss as often as possible; this will make them feel better about the fact that they have been working so hard for everyone else today. If he thinks I'm an idiot, well, he's paying an idiot, what does that make him? This is after over a year of him saying "I guess it's the best we have" or something along those lines, and raking me across the coals when I made a mistake. Working for a manager who is conflict-averse can have deleterious effects on your performance and your career. Either you have the internal drive to be great at whatever you do or you are always settling for just OK. Staff attitudes simply must align with the service you are offering, so that the service is delivered properly.. One day they might be in a good mood and decide to share the reason with you! Aug 30, 2015 Messages 3,018 Reactions 15,245 287 81 Alleybux 42,451 In my experience I've learned that people hardly change. It is easy to be a holy man on top of a mountain. W. Consider these questions and keep track of your yesses. But a really good boss knows what exactly is going on and is prepared to do even boring jobs. This is because respect goes beyond the workplace. Or they might expect you to work a bit harder than other employees. We recommend our users to update the browser. Try to include him in those discussions. Crises happen. You know exactly what you have to do and by when. Or if theyre makinginappropriate comments, you should say something. If work is regularly encroaching on your nights and weekends . Guess what really grates on peoples nerves? Im glad we get along. If its true, this simple sentence could win your favor with your superiors and make them want to be nice to you. Do they make sure to disagree with you in private? The boss will be the driving force in creating this atmosphere which in turn will lead to higher morale and greater motivation. Unfortunately, some bosses are justpower-hungry. GF had a threesome whilst we were on a break How do you respond to someone cancelling a date due to insomnia/exhaustion? Being strict is just their way of exerting their power. But try to see it as apositive sign. My boss is emotional and jumps to conclusions and is generally a hardass. If your boss is naturally a strict person, it could just be their personality. Believe me, he would let me know. This will show them that youre not a threat and willing to work together. This is because they saw or heard about what happened. Maybe the side piece just told him it was a false positive on the pregnancy test. Alas. Most of the people that left have come back and our culture has dramatically changed for the better, he says. Luckily for me I worked for someone else for half of the year, so that person had weight on my review and fought with management to make sure I got . My ex-boss was extra nice when he thought I was leaving due to frequent private phone calls on my mobile during work. Assertiveness, Bad Bosses, Manipulation, Mental Health, Personalities, Poor Management, Survival In The Workplace, Toxic Workplaces, Workplace Bullying Do you feel like your boss is manipulating you? If youre constantlymissing deadlinesor not meetingtargets, your boss will be frustrated. He had a country club management style. Ive seen plenty of bosses who might talk the talk about demanding exceptional performance but, all too often, they just want employees to like them. I certainly dont tell them what to do or how to spend their time in these instances, but I usually take note of how their time off is spent. Bosses who engage in moral cleansing are eager to make amends by showing thoughtful consideration to employees and going the extra mile of giving fair feedback and support to them. This can befrustrating. Instead of being responsible for your role and your goals, you blame others for your mistakes. If you are a boss and you cant tick off all the boxes, then it may be time for some self-assessment. TOP 10 why is my boss being extra nice to me BEST and NEWEST Catherine's boss, high in SDO, has a hard-working subordinate who is receiving attention and extra opportunities from top management neither of which the boss, herself, received or controlled. It also means that he or she believes you are capable of making good decisions based on your personal judgment and experience. i work for a corporate company and payrise each year due to performance is no issue but as from the boss being "nice" is yes a disturbing yet dumbfounding situation. There are some cases where you should take a stand for yourself. They want to help you reach your full potential. Before considering whether or not to hire you, prospective employers will review your resume. There are two reasons i can think of why your manager is being extra nice to you. Instead of thinking that they will always be there to help you, start appreciating where it is due. One of the biggest challenges for bosses who are kind and supportive is to know when to draw the line. Or maybe theyre just trying to see if youre as good as you seem. I am curious as to why you were being nice to me. This might catch them off guard. It also goes beyond family, religion, and everything else. Once you are reassured that you are on the right track, then you can achieve anything. When a boss trusts you, it can be a huge boost for your career. I tried doing this and my boss actually chewed me out for being "insubordinate". He's definitely up to something so you should watch your back. We came upon a worried employee. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. They might want to see how well you handle stress or react tocriticism. Im sorry I took it for granted. It does not matter what the situation is. For each of your reports, revisit the goals youve set. If your boss is impressed by you, he or she is going to show it in a way that makes it clear. While kindness can be an incredibly effective tool in the right context, its important to be aware of the limits of your bosss kindness as well as its potential drawbacks. Only docile and obedient sheep are welcome in fear-filled environments. Yet the secret of wise management is that the good boss knows when to step in and teach and when to be just a helpful presence on the sidelines. When your boss is hard on you, it can be challenging to determine why. There are also breakers of these rules, leading to superiors reprimanding employees. Some were pretty good; others were simply awful. It would help if you considered several possibilities before believing them. Insecure bosses want to stay in control. Take, for example, US real estate guru Bill Sanders. These great leaders are not afraid to lay down the law they dont hesitate for an instant. If youre being mistreated, you can also take a stand for yourself. Tap your network In some cases, you may need to go above your boss and use your network to get feedback or resources. Is My Boss Manipulating Me? Here Are 12 Signs Of A Manipulative Boss Is there a way we can work on getting more resources? Or if shes being too hands off and not giving you enough input, you might say, I need more insight from you along the way and Im not sure how to get it. You can also try to make it easier for her to give feedback. But, make sure that you do these things if they apply to you! He did not have some "come to Jesus" moment. She's checking up on your work before it's due, dictating details that she should trust you to figure out, and generally displaying a lack of confidence that you'll do your job well. We have all had difficult and bad tempered bosses, not to mention autocratic and mean ones as well. I have done my graduation in business administration. Dont downgrade just because someone failed to meet a goal. This does not mean they hate each other or anything. Is your managers fear of conflict hurting your career? However, there could be a few reasons why your boss seems extra hard on you: Your boss could be hard on you because they see potential in you. If it is, then this might be the reason why! They both go hand-in-hand and the results from employees can be impressive. nice to you, it could be because you are not appreciative of their work. Its not an excuse for their behavior. For this reason, its important that you help your boss understand the costs of his behavior. And offer your help if they need it. Do they have your back and support you in public? Im sorry I forgot to thank you earlier. It is a common phrase, but is it practiced enough? Lets work together to make your resume the best it can be for your application. What Is a Hybrid Work Schedule And How To Make It Work, 3 Fundamentals of Staying Focused and Improving Concentration, How to Achieve Your Goal Effectively (Step-by-Step Guide), How to Gain Clarity And Find Happiness in Life by Alice Inoue, How Questioning Life Will Help You Find Clarity And Purpose, How to Commit to Your Passion Projects When Youre Busy, How To Use Project Milestones To Stay On Track With Goals, Losing Confidence in What You Do? But if the team couldnt agree on how to move forward on a particular project, they were stuck. Why wives suddenly gets nice and happy? A great boss will soon become familiar with peoples talents and skills. I am Aleena N. Amjad. Your boss is nice to you might have nothing to do with anything at all! This will show them that youre ateam playerand are willing to go theextra mile. They dont last long at my companies. Heres what optimistic people do to always see the glass half-full. Is there a way to gamify performance expectations and make them public or transparent among your team? I haven't messed up big time. Workers feel appreciated and they know that everyone is treated fairly. Unstructured job interviews decrease your chances of landing the position. This is not a trick question, or it is.

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