my boyfriend deserves someone prettier

This is the place for your questions and discussions on any and all topics, with fellow users or staff, while you get your feet wet. I think youd mention that. He's the man of my dreams but I am not the girl he deserves. As a practicing psychologist, one of the most common problems patients present is the stress and confusion that stems from having a relationship with someone who is narcissistic. Yours was demanding that he not sleep with anyone else when you were supposedly broken up. Most LWs lead with that, not with confessions that they have insecurity anxieties and a vague everything she forgave him for, which I think is likely to be her taking offense to his tone when her insecurity problems suffer. A good analogy to explain the mate selection process for a narcissist is to think of the narcissist as an engineer; one who creates a relationship paradigm that will support their extensive (and abnormal) psychological needs. Or, you could talk about a breakup, if all of any of this is outside what you want, or, of course, if the way he is approaching all of this just feels so crummy to you, you want out. Anyway, regardless of whether he was being purposefully manipulative or not, it sounds like LW was a wreck during the relationship due to the trust issues, and thats what pushed him to end it. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Honestly I feel like I deserve better than him and I tell myself that he is nothing in front of me, that he doesn't deserve my feelings, that he is not my type, and also that I keep telling myself that I will never talk to him in my life even if it is a matter of life and death. Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. Cleopatra Jones Have you seen relationships fall apart due to cheating? You're way too good for him. Maybe she had good reason. ago by BroccoliGuac My boyfriend said his ex is prettier than me. One may imagine that the narcissist is most drawn to partners who will show them the most attention. The surest way to become insecure or obsessive is to know too much about his ex. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. 169 40 comments jandeLovely 2 yr. ago Been married 10 years to the most devoted loving man. Photo by Daisy Anderson from Pexels. You were quite right in trying to break off completely. You know how all your friends think its best if you move on and that you deserve more? I don't feel like going out anymore or talking to anyone. So, stick to your word block him so he cant contact you, and make an effort to move on, even if youre scared to. I know how it feels to be young and uncertain. This doesn't mean things can't work out in the future, but if timing is causing issues for you and your partner, it may be time to evaluate if what they can offer you in the present works for you. What He Means When He Says You Deserve Better (15 - NecoleBitchie soulsista12 Report. They may question how or why they ever put up with such an unfair and dysfunctional relationship. My friends are prettier than me, and it's making me miserable. La Mama asks: Growing up, me and my friends always dressed the same and acted the same, but as we started getting older, we all developed into beautiful, young independent women. Sounds like a great foundation for their relationship. My boyfriend deserves someone better! : r/relationship_advice - Reddit When I went through a breakup in college, my aunt bought me a little frog-shaped candle and reminded me that I'd have to kiss a lot of frogs to find my prince. I love him and don't want to lose him. Because the narcissist's true ego is fragile, they rely on their romantic partners to constantly make them feel important, valuable, and special. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. It's perpetual. Reviewed by Ekua Hagan. This perspective is logical given the narcissist's driving interest for narcissistic supply, a clinical term that refers to a mix of attention and reinforcement for the superior image the narcissist tries to project to the world. Narcissism: A Game Changer in Corporate Fundraising? I know it's made me want to kill myself more than one time. If you feel like youve grown as a person, but your partner is still at the same place they were in you first started dating, this could be a potential issue. But the most important kind of love is the kind we most often neglect: self love. What is this was your daughter or best friend? Ultimately, the partners should never blame themselves for getting together with a narcissist because, true to the narcissist's calculating nature, the narcissist excels at presenting a false self at the beginning of any relationship. Plus, how to talk to your partner about it. Scan this QR code to download the app now. Its called a breakup because its broken! Too, what do YOU want? Such individuals are typically emotionally sensitive and they may doubt or second-guess themselves in emotionally complex situations. The Highly Flexible Habits of Happy People, The Power of Beliefs in Romantic Relationships, Why Automated Talk Doesn't Scare Us, And Why It Should. He's an intelligent, capable and a handsome guy. That will fuck with a guys head, just like him saying oh I need a break, but lets still go on dates will fuck with a girls head. And he should not have manipulated you emotionally into sleeping with him again without resolving your issues. Personally, Id probably take a few days off from work, use it to grieve, eat lots of ice cream and wear PJs all day. We got you. So you told him that it was good bye for good, and that you wouldnt be waiting for him when he came back, but you also told him he couldnt sleep with anyone else in the off chance you did take him back? If you want the love you know you deserve, be brave enough to let go of this one you wont find it with this guy, and you wont find it until you move on. I do know that in this day-and-age, sex isnt as sacred to most people as it was in the past. a) How do I feel about myself in this relationship? I'm really insecure about all of this. She's prettier than you. You had a relationship that ran its course with a guy who convinced you you wouldnt find this special a love again, and so now youre convinced you cant walk away. He knows he can walk all over you, treat you like shit, gaslight you for months, saying your distrust is too much to handle (as if your distrust came out of nowhere), dump your ass, fuck someone else, drunkenly fuck you, and STILL youre gonna be all, But I LOVE him. Narcissists are hypervigilant about the self-image they present. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. 5. Given the narcissist's complex personality makeup, what the narcissist looks for in a partner is similarly complex. Keeping the big picture in mind, the vast majority of men and women fall in the average category across the board: looks, intelligence, and income. I figured I would give the guy the benefit of the doubt since I am unsure what he motivation is. You must have trust. What should I tell my boyfriend who thinks he deserves someo by littlerelaxbear Sat Jan 31, 2015 10:56 pm What should I tell my boyfriend (late 20s) who thinks he deserves someone more attractive than I am? Perhaps your partner tries to control what . If you don't speak up now, his actions will get worse. If you think thats ridiculing, then I dont know what to say. Let me say from the start that I feel your pain. Im an introvert and would be happy single (though Im very happy with my husband), so Im not sure that approach would work for everyone. He still refuses to leave me. It makes women feel small and sets them up for insecurity." She advised that men should be respectful not only about what they say, but "where their eyes wander." She added, "Practice saying kind things to and about your partner, whether or not she is there. If youre starting to feel embarrassed about bringing your partner around your family, you're constantly making excuses for them, or you find yourself pressuring them to clean up their mistakes, you may not be in sync anymore. "In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome. I dunno, I know it happens, and I also know from being so involved with this site, that LWs very often suppress, gloss over, or entirely leave out facts that would color our impression negatively. Not only has he been studying intimate relationships for more than forty years, but he practically invented the field. Narcissists' psychological needs are so great that they look for a full set of personality traits in partners rather than just one. RedRoverRedRover Anyone who says that looks don't matter, is living in a fantasy world. 6 Sure Signs of Narcissism. LW, were you crying on the phone for hours more than once per week? And as Erin K. Tierno, LCSW-R, psychotherapist who specializes in relationships, tells Bustle, "If you are the only one doing the heavy lifting, then it might be time to consider seeking out a partner who is willing to show up for figuring out the hard stuff as a team.". You shouldn't be the only one initiating check-in texts or calls, planning date nights, or bringing up issues that need to be discussed. And something like 99% realized upon finding something more meaningful that the first time they thought they felt super special love actually wasnt all that great after all. I gave that up in my desperate search for love from you, and I lost sight of who I am and . According to her own story, she has major trust issues and insecurities, and she lets everything build up until shes so frustrated she takes it out on those around her. Is this how youd help her through this difficult time shes clearly having? Had they been communicating? Listen to your gut and see what it's telling you. But in your teens, 20s and 30s, appearance tends to take first position when it comes to importance. I remind myself that my boyfriend loves me for me. Do you really mean it when you tell him you arent going to wait around? When His Ex is Prettier Than You - eharmony Why should I, right? Dating someone seriously and simultaneously knowing that his ex was prettier than you can make you feel, well, pretty low. All rights reserved. But if your partner came into the relationship with a few friends and hobbies, and have integrated themselves into your life entirely, that's a pretty telling sign they might not be enough for you. Lost and confused. I think he probably didnt know what else to do. My boyfriend told me that one of my best friends was prettier than me and now I feel myself comparing myself to her.

Why Is Daycare Important In The Community, Houses For Sale Oil City, Pa, Articles M